I spent the evening watching the Reach Out with Red Rose mini-series (found here:1, 2, 3, 4) featuring the contests first winner, Rebecca Tremblay. I was very excited to see familiar faces, hear the children singing (which included flailing, crying, and giddiness), but I was also excited to remember how it went for me when I was there. Almost a year ago, I was boarding a plane going on a trip that has changed me forever.
As Clare wrote:
'A year ago, I was struggling with the conflicting hearts and issues and worlds. I was afraid of is how easy it is to forget. Of how easy it is to go grocery shopping, to go driving, to go shopping, and not think about the impact, the resources, the tall giraffes. How easy it is to spend the rest of your summer just as you would have the year before: no changes, no new activities, no new drive.
There is no balance between two worlds, because there is no two worlds - definitely not for me, since I've only dipped my toes in. But there is living in one world with the mentality of the other evaluating your choices and needs and desires. Driving down a paved Canadian road in a car with a radio and a lunch in the back seat thinking about another road entirely, one lined with cactus trees and children who wave at you instead of throwing glares or pinecones.
I can't believe I've forgotten. I can't believe Kenya was so long ago. I can't believe I've gone nearly a year in Canada - part of the reason it's so hard to remember, to think about it everyday, is because it's so different. I'm clean, I'm wearing makeup, I'm greeting people on the telephone and selling them things and going to movies. I'm not swinging a shovel, I'm not sweaty and tired, I'm not playing stella-ella-oh-la in the same clothes I wore yesterday. I'm not having life-affirming, life-changing moments in the evenings with a cup of chai and braided hair. And I'm frustrated with myself, for trying to trivialize the trip instead of taking the important parts and using them as part of myself. And I need to do that more. I can have fun, I can hang out with my friends, I can be frivolous, but what I can't be is forgetful.
